As my children absorb lessons—both intentional teachings and inadvertent observations—I realize that these learnings are usually accepted at face value. They form an inherent accumulation for future reflection, only to be fully understood when a child encounters a moment where that knowledge becomes practical. Thus, a significant portion of one’s inherent wisdom stems from exposure to life's teachings. These lessons are shaped by either effective or unsuccessful human interactions. For a life lesson to take root, both the giver and the recipient must engage in a mutual exchange of communication.

Tonight, my three-year-old daughter assumed her usual role of passive resistance, struggling with her communication skills trailing her actions. This familiar trait resonated with me, as I too possess it. When my six-year-old asked her to make room on the carpet for a cartwheel, Isla initially hesitated before withdrawing mentally. So, I lifted her onto my lap and, using a firm tone, endeavored to impart the importance of being expressive, open, and responsive.

She reacted emotionally, grappling with defensive thoughts and confusion over why her actions warranted such assertive guidance. Her mindset shifted from provoking her sister by not budging, to seeking some sort of outcome, and finally to questioning the nature of her supposed transgression.

As I held onto her in my arms, her mind raced towards escaping this constraint to seek refuge with the parent more likely to yield to her will. Self-gratification seemed to be the driving force behind her actions. I realized that in order to connect with her, I needed to focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on past thought patterns. The key was learning how to confront discomfort and derive satisfaction from it. Engaging in an open conversation, even with a young child, was crucial for nurturing a strong bond. As the lesson unfolded, emphasizing the significance of effective communication planted seeds for growth. My approach to discipline aligned with my parenting beliefs – recognizing that moments of intense emotion provided optimal opportunities for learning and personal development.

As my children learn (and this is both by intended teaching and by unintended absorption) I recognize that this is general well received and taken at an absolute value. It a sort of inherent collection for later internal review not yet understood until that child has a moment when that teaching can be applied/used. Therefore, a large part of ones inherent knowledge is derived and dependent on his or her exposure to life lessons. Life lessons are either successful human communication or failed human communication. In order for a life lesson to be concieved, both the deliverer and the receiver must experience simultaneous symbiotic communication. Tonight my three year old played her usual role of passive aggressive recalcitrant. She is struggling with her communication skills falling behind in comparison to her actions. A trait I quickly recognized, as a carrier of this trait myself. She was asked to move out of the way (lying on the carpet) by my six year old who was requesting space to perform a cartwheel. After multiple attempts at the request, Isla became unresponsive in a mental fiddle with what to make of this situation. So I picked her up, placed her in my lap and with a punishing tone I began my attempt at communicating the necessity to be communicative, receptive and responsive. She quickly went emotional with defensive thoughts baffled as to why her behavior has led to this kind of assertive pursuance. Knowing that her thought had changed from, getting a rise out of her sister by not moving, then to, “I want something out of this, what can I do?” Then to, how on earth is that a punishable offense? And then (as I held her tightly in my lap) straight into, how do I get myself out of this restraint to flee to the parent who I can better bend to my will? It is always the pursuit of self gratification. The opportunist in me thought, If I intent to get through to her the teaching moment must be not about that from 2 or 3 thought patterns ago but that of which is happening now and that was how to lean into what I do not want to find pleasure through the pain. Open dialogue even with a three year old is imperative for successful growth of a relationship. the lesson was so loaded with seeds from the rational behind the importance of the tool of communication… my form of punishment is congruent with my parenting philosophy all together and that is since human experience is enhanced at emotional extremes, these times are optimal for learning.